


Six Weeks Stuck In The Backseat of a Bronze Dragon

by Blue_Rive



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, NO TTT spoilers this is pure unadultered post-tho pre-tdp apollo, Road Trip, Tags Edited, and a lil angst, apollo misses meg, but also action, you are safe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2019-12-18 12:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Rive/pseuds/Blue_Rive
Summary: “Well,” Calypso said, heedless of my mental state, “you think you’ll know the skyline when you see it?”I nodded. “Probably.”“And that’s where the Oracle is?”“I assume so.”“Then let’s just keep heading west,” Calypso said, “and when we get there, you’ll recognize it. And Meg will be there, too.”“Perfect,” Leo said sarcastically. “What could go wrong?”***The story of the six weeks of travel it took to get to Indianapolis.This was betad by Keyseeker (mostly) and I am forever grateful.





	1. Stuck with Calypso/She's really annoying/Have you tried Leo's tacos?

**Author's Note:**

> In which Apollo is constantly having a crisis, Calypso gets a sword, and Leo is the most sensible one there.

We set off after breakfast. I was still lost in my thoughts about Meg, so there was quite a bit of awkward silence. That is, until I moved to sit in the front seat and Leo shoved me away. 

 

“I need to be driving Festus,” he explained. “He gets cranky if anyone else tries to tell him where to go.”

 

I was pretty sure Festus could breathe fire, so I got in the seat behind Leo. This time, Calypso elbowed me in the gut and got me to fall off, landing in the dirt in a very ungodly way. 

 

“Was that necessary?” I complained from my spot on the ground. 

 

“Was locking me on an island for four thousand years necessary?” she countered and got on the bronze dragon. “You’re in the backseat.”

 

I groaned and got up. “Fine, fine. Though I drove the  _ sun chariot,  _ you know. I am perfectly capable of driving a bronze dragon. I deserve to be in the middle seat at least, instead of being in the place where I’m most likely to fall off or get struck by lightning.” 

 

“Ugh. Just come on. We have to go.”

 

Despite my annoyance (Calypso started it! Why was  _ I  _ the one blamed for holding us up?) I got on the back and crossed my arms. 

 

“Okay then!” Leo said and told Festus something. The dragon’s bronze wings unfurled with a disturbing creaky sound, but they worked, and we took off into the sunset.

 

“The sunset has no right to be so pretty,” I complained. “Ra or Amaterasu or whoever aren’t nearly as skilled as me at the arts, so why are they so good at making nice sunsets?”

 

Leo frowned. “It’s not that nice. The sun keeps getting in my eyes.”

 

Not quite,  _ of course your sunsets are better Apollo! This one sucks!,  _ but it was the closest I’d actually gotten for a while, so I took a moment to appreciate Leo Valdez. 

 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” I say cautiously, “can you teach me more about the Valdezinatinator? I still haven’t figured out how to tune it.”

 

Leo looked at me oddly, then began to laugh under his breath.

 

“What is it?” I asked. 

 

“Nothing!” Leo grinned. “I can’t right now, I need it to show you! Just keep trying, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

 

I stopped appreciating Leo Valdez and instead cursed in Ancient Greek. “I thought that would be at least one good thing that would come out of this trip.”

 

“Hey, no ancient languages,” Leo complained, though he was still grinning for no reason I could see. 

 

We flew over the Grove of Dodona, bringing back my worry about Meg McCaffrey. The young girl had betrayed me, but I was certain it was not her fault. I just needed to find her, and convince her to join us! … that thought sounded desperate, and I hadn’t even said it out loud. Sadly, I had firsthand knowledge of exactly how hard it was to break free from a bad influence, especially if they’re your parent, or… stepfather.

 

Leo seemed to notice my distress. “Hey,” he said, “Meg, right? We’ll find her.” 

 

I smiled weakly. “Ah… I… thank you.”

 

“Hey,” Calypso interjected. “Which way are we going, exactly?”

 

“To the west,” I explained patiently. “Nero mentioned something about splitting up the continent. The west would be the next emperor, who probably has the Cave of Trophonius under their control. Also, if we went east, we’d end up in Spain, and I don’t think that would make much sense.”

 

“‘The west’ is a pretty big area,” Leo commented. “How are we going to find the Oracle in all of that?” 

 

I frowned. “I don’t-”

 

Then I swayed and fell sideways. Considering how my time as a mortal had been going, this probably shouldn’t have been a surprise.

 

A vision engulfed me. That had happened a few times before, my lack of godly memory leading into visions instead of easily perfect recall. I expected this would be one of those. Something useful about the second emperor, perhaps, that would prove wrong my theory about his true identity.

 

Instead, I saw Meg. In my dream, she was standing in front of Nero, kicking her high top sneaker against the ground listlessly. Nero was eating a plate of strawberries, popping each one into his mouth with his pinky finger extended to better show off his overly expensive diamond ring. Meg’s glasses had been broken since the last time I saw her.  _ If Nero’s hurt her…  _ I couldn’t interact with the vision, but I clenched my hands into fists. When I was a god again, I’d vaporize him into dust. Even in this mortal body, I could probably still harness my godly power to punch him in the face. (It didn’t really work like that, but I was sure I could bend the rules a little for someone who dared to hurt my young master. Someone who’d  _ been  _ hurting her all her life.) 

 

“Meg, Meg,” the emperor cooed. “You should be excited! This is your chance for redemption! You won’t disappoint me, will you?”

 

There were hidden threats in that line. I wanted to run to Meg’s side, to comfort her and help her. But, alas, I was stuck in the vision, unable to interact with or change the past. 

 

“Go west,” Nero told her. “Capture Apollo before he can find the next Oracle. If you cannot bring him to me alive, kill him.” 

 

I stumbled backwards. Obviously I knew Nero wanted to kill me.  _ Too many  _ people wanted to kill me. It was really annoying. But making Meg do it… Of course, I was worried for her. I wanted to be with her and keep her safe. She was my friend. But she was also my master. She could order me to do anything. Even, well… I swallowed. Even kill myself.

 

Nero beckoned someone out with a crook of his finger. An enormous Germani with a snake tattoo stepped out, their sizable presence dominating the room as they glowered down at Meg. “This is Vortigern,” Nero said. “He will keep you… safe.” Nero tasted the word, as if it had many possible meanings. Meg stared at the ground. 

 

“You will also be traveling with another member of the Imperial Household,” Nero said. “In case… difficulties arise.” He beckoned again. Out of the shadows stepped a tall, dark haired boy who looked like he very much enjoyed appearing from shadows. He reminded me a bit of my son’s boyfriend Nico di Angelo, if Nico was older, more vicious, and had been raised by jackels. 

 

“Ah, good Marcus. Show Meg our location, will you?” Marcus opened his hand, and golden light radiated from it, forming into a rather drab skyline that, in my mind, did not deserve to be illuminated in golden light. Perhaps a PowerPoint. 

 

“Meg, my dear,” Nero said. “I want you to succeed! Please, don’t fail. If the Beast becomes cross with you again,” He shrugged helplessly. “I just don’t know  _ how  _ I could protect you! Find Apollo. Subject him to your will. I know you can do this. And, my dear? Do be careful in the court of our friend the New Hercules. He is not as much a gentleman as I. Don’t get caught up in his obsession with destroying the House of Nets. That’s a mere sideshow. Succeed quickly and come back to me.” Nero spread his arms. “Then we can be one happy family again.”

I glared at Nero. Marcus opened his mouth to say something, but the vision was shattered by someone’s voice calling out to me.

 

_ “-pollo? _ Apollo!” 

 

I straightened up dizzily. Leo and Calypso were looking at me with worry.

 

“I-I’m fine,” I stuttered, then listed sideways off of Festus, slipping off into the air above Long Island Sound. My stomach lurched and I cried out, expecting to be deep beneath the waves or crushed against the ground in a few seconds- Calypso grabbed my shirt and yanked me back up.

 

“Thanks,” I told her.   
  


“Don’t thank me,” Calypso said, “tell me what happened.”

 

“I should really put some seatbelts on this thing,” Leo commented, and Festus creaked out something. “No? Okay, buddy.”

 

“Tell your dragon he can go  _ ga _ -”

 

Leo interrupted. “I don’t know what you were going to say, but I have a feeling it’s not very nice. Festus’ just a little dragon, you know! You can’t swear in front of him!”

 

“Wasn’t he invented around World War II?” I asked.

 

“That’s not important!” 

 

It sounded important to me (at least for this particular situation) but I let it slide. As soon as there was a break in the conversation, Calypso jumped in. “You had a vision, didn’t you? What did you see?” 

 

I told her about what had happened. Nero calling Meg in for an audience, gesturing to a skyline, telling her to go west, to find me- my voice caught. Leo touched me on the shoulder, a gesture I would have appreciated more if it didn’t mean he had turned around on his seat and was no longer keeping an eye on Festus. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he told me. “Keep going.”

 

I told him, my voice quaking, how Meg was supposed to kill me. How scared and alone she’d looked, how she was going to be  _ escorted _ by Germani, how…  _ how much I miss her.  _ (I didn’t say that part aloud, of course, but I did miss her, with all my heart. I only hoped we would meet again soon, in good circumstances.)

 

“Well,” Calypso said, heedless of my mental state, “you think you’ll know the skyline when you see it?”

 

I nodded. “Probably.” 

 

“And that’s where the Oracle is?” 

 

“I assume so.”

 

“Then let’s just keep heading west,” Calypso said, “and when we get there, you’ll recognize it. And Meg will be there, too.”

 

“Perfect,” Leo said sarcastically. “What could go wrong?”

 

\-----

Calypso had acquired a sword, and I was in fear for my life.  

 

We had stopped in New Jersey, where Calypso had had a crisis about her loss of powers. I sympathized. Being mortal was a constant crisis. 

 

Instead of breaking down and crying, (something that always felt appealing), Calypso decided she was going to learn to be a successful individual without her powers. Hence, sword.

I could really go with Calypso  _ not  _ becoming successful and self actualized. Or at least, her not doing it in my vicinity. 

 

We were in a forest, under a large tree and a shelter Leo Valdez had made out of spare wood that was inexplicably in infinite supply from his tool belt. It had begun to rain. Calypso drove her sword into a tree. I closed my eyes and wished for a nice hotel. I would have even settled for four stars. Instead I was stuck out here, and Leo had gone to get taco ingredients, leaving me open to attack by sword. 

 

“Calypso,” I said, “Just so you know, I’m profoundly sorry for exiling you on Ogygia-”

 

Calypso’s sword embedded itself in the part of the tree just above my head.  “No, you’re not.”

 

“I am,” I argued.

 

“Because I’ll stab you if you say anything else?”

I beamed up at her. “Exactly!” 

 

Calypso sighed in exasperation and pulled her sword out of the tree. “I’m no good at this. Can I try your bow?”

 

I looked for my bow. To my annoyance, Kayla had explained that mortal weapons required something called  _ maintenance _ . My bow was wrapped up in blankets and currently stored on top of our pile of gear, tucked out of the rain. 

 

I edged in front of it. “No, you may not. What are you doing, anyway? Taking revenge on the Grove of Dodona indirectly?”

 

Calypso huffed and sat down. “What’s up with that, anyway? Talking trees can’t be that bad.”

 

I was tempted to go into detail about the murmuring voices in my head and outside, prophecies pouring over and over each other in a cacophony of powerful words and meaningless noise, how they got in your brain and threatened to drive you mad, how I saw faces in the trees- but I decided not to. 

 

“They were pretty bad,” I said instead, in a display of Meg-style brevity. (How did I miss her so much?)

 

Calypso started to say something, but we were interrupted by Leo entering, a grin spread across his face.

 

“Awesome, you two didn’t kill each other when I was gone!”

 

I pointed at Calypso. “Your girlfriend threatened me with a sword.”

 

Leo frowned at Calypso. “No killing Apollo.”

 

Calypso crossed her arms. “I can kill him if I want. Did I ever tell you about the time-” 

 

“You heard what he said,” I interjected. “No killing Apollo.”

 

I turned to Leo for help, but he was busy building a campfire.

 

“Do we have any matches?” I asked, proud of myself for thinking of something so mundane and mortal. 

 

Leo flashed a smile at me. “This bad boy doesn’t need any matches. Watch this.”

 

He concentrated, and his hand lit up, blazing with a bright flame that seemed to be burning his skin, but left no mark.

 

I turned to Calypso. “Is that… normal?” Calypso nodded. 

 

“Back on Ogygia, he kept accidentally setting fire to his clothes.”

 

I didn’t feel much like going into that particular subject, especially when I knew Leo and Calypso were dating, so I started going through the taco ingredients. 

 

“Anything I can do?” 

 

“You have changed,” Calypso said, and I felt a sense of accomplishment before she added, “I thought you were a terrible cook.”

 

“I am,” I told her. “My offer was to be polite.”

 

“Alright, both of you, give me space,” Leo said, and waved at us to back away. I did so, sitting down on the ground and bringing out my ukulele. I fiddled with the strings, not really playing anything in particular and trying not to use my powers. I did  _ not _ want to pass out before the tacos were ready. 

 

A few minutes later, Leo called us over. 

 

“Okay, are you ready to taste the best tacos ever?”

 

“I highly doubt that your tacos are the best  _ ever _ ,” I told him. “There has to be someone out there who can make better tacos then you.” 

 

Leo grinned. “Just try them, Apollo.” 

 

He handed me two tacos on a paper plate. I eyed them with suspicion, afraid they’d taste like, gods forbid, camp food, but bit into one.

 

“Oh my gods, Leo,” Calypso said, “this is so good.”

 

I pointed at her. “What she said. This is one of the few times we actually agree on something.” I frowned. “Actually, did you sneak ambrosia into this? I can’t have that anymore.”

 

“Nope! Just normal tacos, made by your awesome chef Leo!” Leo told me. 

 

It was silent for a few minutes, and I focused on my vision and the prophecy. Nero had said the second emperor was obsessed with destroying the House of Nets. I searched my memory for what that meant, but frustratingly, I came up empty. That happened a lot, now; I simply had too many memories to fit inside my now-mortal brain. This felt different, though. I was pretty sure that even if I was a god, I’d have no idea what the House of Nets was.

 

Nero had also said the second emperor went by the New Hercules. I had more idea about what- who- that was, but I didn’t want to dwell on it.  _ It can’t be him! He-he died. I saw it.  _

 

Considering my bad luck, though, the second emperor was probably exactly who I thought he was.

 

Calypso broke my musing, one of the few times I was thankful for Calypso. She gestured towards Festus, taco held awkwardly in the other hand.

 

“So with Apollo’s vision, we’ll know where the Oracle is when we see it, but how should we look?” 

 

“I’ve been thinking about that!” I complained. “I can’t figure it out!”

 

“This group thinks way too much,” Leo said. “It’s simple. We just go over the whole midwest!”

 

I stared at him. “That was sarcasm, right?”

“It  _ was, _ ” Leo said, “but I was also assuming either of you have a better idea. Do you?”

 

Calypso and I looked at each other, then shrugged.

 

Leo hit himself in the face, something Will had told me was called a  _ facepalm.  _ I did not understand the purpose of it or why someone would willingly hurt themself for no reason, but I decided against asking Leo about it. 

 

“Great. At least this quest doesn’t have a time limit for once. It should take about five weeks to search the midwest, assuming we don’t run into complications.”

 

“How likely is it that we won’t?” I asked.

 

“Probably zero.”

 

Calypso sighed. “That’s great then. Stuck with Apollo for at least five weeks.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Come on,” Leo said. “We can do this! Just, like, channel your inner  _ My Little Pony  _ or something.” 

 

“If any pony has to put up with Apollo on a regular basis, I feel sorry for it,” Calypso said, and I remembered she’d had little-to-no contact with the outside world for, oh, four millenia. 

 

“I’m going to have to give you pop culture lessons,” I decided.

 

“Please, no.”

 

“Well,” Leo said, “I’m going to go to sleep. You guys probably should too. It’s going to be a  _ long  _ five weeks.”

 

“On that we agree,” I grumbled, but I lay down and looked up at the stars between the branches. The moon was barely there, a thin crescent showing above a cloud.

 

_ I wonder how Artemis is doing. Maybe I’ll see her, on this quest.  _

 

I knew that was a foolish hope. Zeus would have forbade her from interfering. Still, I missed her terribly. 

 

I’m not sure how long I gazed up at the stars, but eventually I fell asleep. 

 

I didn’t have any visions. Instead, I dreamed of rustling tree branches, and faces on bark, and my short time with Meg McCaffrey.

 

Leo shook me awake. “Come on, Apollo, we should get going. People hike on these trails, and even with the Mist, I think they might notice Festus.”

 

I muttered and groaned, but got up. Calypso was already on the dragon. Resigned, I clambered into the backseat. Leo told Festus something again, and we lifted off.

 

Being with Calypso and Leo hadn’t been so bad. I might even be able to stand five weeks with them. Even if I couldn’t, I was stuck with them.

 

_ Well, let’s see how this turns out. _

  
  



	2. Can yon arrow stfu/ I really don't like flying/ I hate my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is... fluff. just fluff. even the slightly plotty bits are either like 3 sentences OR fluff but in the form of a kinda worrying vision

A week later, and Calypso hadn’t killed me yet, which I decided to view as an accomplishment. We were flying a bit below the clouds, (I was still stuck in the backseat). Leo was fiddling with pipe cleaners and not paying nearly enough attention to Festus. Calypso was reading some book- it was about polearms, I noticed with some nervousness- and I was wishing I had brought  _ something  _ to entertain me. I was no longer a god who could summon the newest iPhone at a moment’s notice, and Leo said phones attracted monsters anyway.  _ Gods, why was everything worthwhile in this world taken from me?  _

 

“We’re getting into Pennsylvania,” Leo noted, glancing up from his small pipe cleaner airplane. 

 

“Finally,” I muttered. “The sun chariot was much faster than this.” 

 

Festus creaked in indignation. 

 

“I… apologize,” I sighed. I had no wish to be set on fire by Leo’s bronze dragon, so I kept my other complaints to myself.

 

“Apollo,” Calypso said. 

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t you have a magic fortunetelling arrow?”

 

I groaned, brushing a piece of hair out of my eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

 

“ _ Apollo.  _ Can’t you just ask it where the Oracle and Meg are?”

 

Oh. “I  _ could,  _ but I don’t want to. It’s super annoying. It refuses to talk in anything but Shakespearean English, and it doesn’t even get that right.”

 

Calypso frowned. “Excuse me, what?” 

 

“It isn’t important.” I looked out onto the skyline. It was drab, similar to what I’d seen on my dream, but I didn’t think we were there yet. Curse Zeus for revoking my access to GPS! I was not good at recognizing skylines. 

 

“If it’s not, then use it!” 

 

I was trapped. Sighing, I pulled out the Arrow of Dodona. 

 

_ HAST THOU BEEN INSULTING MY MANNER OF SPEAKINGTH? _

 

“Yes.”

 

_ SLANDER! APOLOGIZE, OR I WILLETH NOT GIVE YOU ADVICE FOR YON QUEST! _

I groaned and glared at Calypso. “This is your fault. Alright, arrow.”

 

_ GREAT ARROW OF DODONA. _

 

“Great Arrow of Dodona, just give me some advice or I  _ will  _ snap you.”

 

_ HOW DARE YOU! MY BRETHREN WOULD NOT STAND FOR THAT. _

 

“Your… you mean the trees in the Grove?” I doubted any of them would care about my arrow. They’d probably sent it with me specifically to get rid of it.

 

_ YES! BESIDETH, THOU QUEST IS IMPORTANT. SPENDTH TIME ON IT, AND RESULTS WITH THE SECOND EMPEROR WILST BE FAVORABLE.  _

 

I was  _ alive  _ in Shakespearean times. This arrow was mangling Early Modern English. 

 

“I don’t want to spend five weeks with Calypso,” I told it.

 

_ PERHAPS YE SHOULDTH TRY AN ICEBREAKER. _

 

“Argh!” I shoved the arrow back into my quiver. Leo peered at it with curiosity. 

 

“I can’t see any mechanical parts on it,” he commented. 

 

“It’s not a machine,” I told him. 

 

“What is it, then?” 

 

“Annoying.” 

 

The wind blew hard past us and stung my face. I debated throwing the arrow of Dodona off Festus. 

 

“What’d it say?” Calypso asked, hair whipping around in the wind. She spat a strand out of her mouth.

 

“Ah…” I waved my hands vaguely. “It suggestedeth-  _ argh!-  _ It suggested we try icebreakers.” 

 

Calypso looked at me incredulously. “ _ Icebreakers?  _ No helpful advice? No name of the place you saw in your dream?”

 

I shrugged. “I told you it wouldn’t help.” 

 

Leo finished his pipe cleaner airplane and let it fly. It swooped up and into a cloud, until it was gone from view. 

 

“You sure it’s not faulty, dude?” he asked. 

 

“I  _ wish  _ it was. Then you or some other helpful demigod could fix it for me.” 

 

“I have an icebreaker,” Leo said, then paused. “Well, actually, it’s just a really bad pun.”

 

I idly messed with the strings of my ukulele. “I don’t know. Your jokes are pretty punny.”

 

Leo gasped and leaped to his feet, ignoring the fact that we were at least five hundred feet above the ground. “You did  _ not.”  _

 

I pretended not to grin. “What?”

 

“Dude, that joke  _ sucks.” _

 

“It’s a classic. Speaking of which, have you seen the orientation film?”

 

Leo sat back down on Festus. “No, and why?”

 

I tried not to look  _ too  _ proud of myself. “I starred in it!”

 

Leo squinted. “Since when do orientation films have stars? I thought it was just, like, awkward videos of people pretending there’s no cameras while some monotone voice talks about the camp.” 

 

I looked at him for a second, then started laughing. “You obviously have never watched a  _ quality  _ orientation film.”

 

“If it has your jokes, I don’t want to,” Calypso said, looking up from her book.

 

“They’re the best part!” 

 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Leo decided and took out a screwdriver and a couple pieces of metal from his strange magical toolbelt.  

 

“I’m underappreciated in my own time,” I complained.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

 

Calypso returned her attention to her book (that  _ still,  _ disturbingly, included instructions for how to stab me with a spear), and I, because there was a distinct lack of other things to do, looked over at what Leo was building.

 

“It’s a tracking device,” he said, once he noticed me watching. “In case we run into anything. I’m thinking of putting it on Festus so I can’t lose him.” 

 

It seemed improbable that Leo Valdez could construct a full tracking device with his limited materials, but perhaps I shouldn’t underestimate him. 

 

We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, as Festus flew over the landscape of… Hazleton, Pennsylvania. I resolved to… ah …  _ buy  _ something next time we stopped. (Capitalism was such a mortal concept. Unfortunately, I had to follow it, as I am one of you now and have to pay for things.)  I debated getting out my ukulele and if it was worth unwrapping all the blankets I had wrapped around it. I decided to go to the effort, and began pulling blankets off. 

 

“Calypso.” I snapped my fingers in front of her face. 

 

Barely glancing up, she grabbed my hand and twisted. 

 

“Ow!” I pulled my hand free and shook it out. “That was uncalled for.” 

 

“ _ I  _ think it was called for,” Calypso said and turned back to her book. 

 

“Wait.” 

 

“What?” 

 

I grinned at her. “I need to give you those pop-culture lessons.”

 

***

 

An hour later, at least I wasn’t bored anymore. 

 

“I do not understand mortal humor,” Calypso said, looking over at Leo, who had collapsed in laughter. 

 

“Really? You’re gonna have a bad time then.” 

 

This invited Leo to have another laughing fit. “Dude,” he managed to get out, “why didn’t you tell us you could play Megalovania on ukulele sooner?” 

 

“I assumed you knew,” I said. “I am the god of music, after all.” 

 

“Former god,” Calypso said. I really wished she’d stop pointing that out. 

 

I shook my hands out, suddenly feeling the pain in my left hand from holding down the strings. My right hand hurt too, and it had barely been doing anything! That was unfair. 

 

“Let’s just hope we don’t run into any monsters before I can recover,” I said. Leo frowned.

 

“You used your powers for  _ that?” _

I glared at him. “They don’t exactly have a super good on/off switch, Leo Valdez. I use them when I’m playing, unless I’m trying super hard not to. And that was a stunning rendition of Megalovania.” 

 

He raised his hands. “If you say so.” Then his gaze was drawn to something else. 

 

“Hey, Sunny, about what you said…” 

 

“Don’t call me Sunny,” I complained, but looked where he was looking- straight ahead.  _ Oh no.  _ My blood ran cold. 

 

“L- Leo?” I stammered.

 

“Yeah?” Leo asked.

 

I gestured at the storm ahead of us. “Do you, uh, have a plan to avoid that?” This was my fault. I’d  _ called out  _ for Zeus’ punishment when Meg was taken by the myrmekes, but all I’d achieved was getting these two- my two  _ friends-  _ in trouble again. 

 

Leo squinted. “Looks pretty unavoidable to me. But don’t worry! We’ll just go lower. And if it’s venti, I can take them.” 

 

Calypso had finally put her book down fully and pulled out a dagger from her pocket. “I  _ hate  _ venti.” I was a little worried about the fact she had a weapon now, but found a bit of comfort in the fact that she had had the chance to use it on me for a week and hadn’t done so. 

 

I hadn’t even thought about it being  _ venti  _ causing the storm. I hoped so. Alas, as we flew closer, the storm looked… normal, for lack of a better term. No storm spirits were flitting around inside, and the people on the street weren’t threatened, just going about their business with some complaints about the rain. I couldn’t tell for sure- I  _ hated  _ being mortal- but I was pretty sure that Zeus was causing this storm.

 

I clung to the hope that it could be caused by that odd mortal thing. Science! Yes, that was it.  With my bad luck, though, it was probably unlikely. 

 

Leo came to the same conclusion as me, though he seemed much happier about it. “Luckily, I have the perfect defense!”

 

He pulled out three raincoats from his infinitely-providing toolbelt. Calypso groaned. I shared her sentiment. 

 

“Can’t we just…” I glanced nervously at the storm. Lightning was jumping about inside the cloud- at any moment, it could strike.  _ Zeus wouldn’t dare hurt me as a mortal! It’d kill me!  _ Unsurprisingly, that thought was not much comfort. 

 

“Can’t we just what?” Leo asked. I snapped back to reality. 

“Um...get a hotel or something?” I gestured at the Hazleton skyline. “There has to be a good one down there.” 

 

Leo laughed and tossed me a coat. I didn’t see how he found it funny. I gripped Festus’ plating tightly, cursing the lack of seatbelts and the slipperiness of wet metal. 

 

A bolt of lightning struck something in the distance. I may have yelped. 

 

Leo frowned. “Sunny, you afraid of storms or something?” 

 

_ Something like that.  _ “Don’t call me Sunny,” I complained. “And yes! Lightning  _ hurts.”  _

 

“How do you know that?” 

 

My knuckles were white around Festus’ saddle. “Don’t ask.”

 

Another bolt, this one lighting up the world in a brilliant flash. I lifted my arms up to protect myself- and slipped off the bronze dragon.

 

I barely processed Leo yelling my name as I panicked, hurtling downward at much too fast a speed. 

 

I fell onto grass, slamming against the ground. Everything went black.

 

*** 

At least I didn’t dream of Father. 

 

I found myself in a clearing, standing outside a tent. I’d been considering what to do for quite a while. I revealed my godly status for my favorite lovers, and Commodus was certainly one of them. I’d seen things, though- glimpses of his future. It made me wonder if I could trust him. 

 

No, that was crazy talk. Commodus loved me. And who was I to talk about trust? I was hiding my true identity from him.    
  
I made my decision. I entered the sumptuous tent in the disguise I’d been taking, a darkskinned mortal man with blond hair in a ponytail- very similar to my normal chosen appearance, but lacking that joie de vivre and general shininess of my godly form. 

 

Commodus glanced up. “Ah, Theo!” He patted the embroidered cushion beside him. “Sit down!”

 

Yes, Theo. It sounded like theos. I think it’s clever. 

 

I walked over, but paused. “I have something I need to tell you.” 

 

Commodus raised an eyebrow. “What?” He grinned. “Secretly even more of a dork than you already are?” 

 

“I’m not a dork,” I complained. “And no. It’s not that.” 

 

I concentrated, and felt a small bit of light gather in my hand, dancing over my fingers. He stared at my hand.

 

“You’re-” 

 

I dropped him a slight bow. “The god Apollo. At your service.” 

 

“I-” Commodus stammered, then seemed to recover his composure. “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us?” 

 

“No, of course not!” I yelped. I really hoped he wouldn’t act differently now. 

 

The smile returned to Commodus’ face. He flicked my shoulder. “So I can still call you a dork?” 

 

“Well, I mean, I wouldn’t, like-” I mimicked throwing a lightning bolt- “smite you or anything, but I said-” 

 

“Still a dork.” His laugh was harsh, but I liked it. “Sit down and we can talk.” 

 

I moved over to beside him, flopping down on a cushion that had to be worth the price of at least one villa in the Roman homelands. 

 

Commodus cast around for something. “Where’s that wretched serving boy? If he’s run off-” 

 

“I sent him out,” I said. “I want this to be a secret.” 

 

“Very well… Theo.” He winked, and I laughed, dismissing my worries as no more than nervous speculating. I was not used to my loves turning out well- perhaps I was making up stuff that wasn’t there. For now, we shared a secret. He would never betray me.

 

The vision shifted. I was back in Nero’s apartment, and my breath caught.  _ Meg.  _ Was she okay? Had Nero hurt her?

 

I saw her, standing in front of Nero and kicking her hightop against the ground. Nero had the same plate of strawberries, eating them as he spoke to Meg- the same words I’d heard before.

 

_ This is the same vision.  _ A feeling of hopelessness engulfed me. I couldn’t help Meg from here. I didn’t know where she was, she didn’t want to be found,  _ she was in trouble and I couldn’t help her and she hates me and might kill me- _

I yelled out in rage, shattering the vision. 

 

Calypso was shaking me, trying to get me to wake up. I blinked a few times, wincing at the injuries from the lightning storm. 

 

“What’s going on?” I asked, attempting to get my bearings. We were hiding behind a car, outside a large building. It definitely was not the ideal situation to wake up in. Really, any situation where I was still mortal was not the ideal situation.

 

Calypso pointed to the large building. “Leo was supposed to be out of there an hour ago!”

 

I’d been out for an hour? I looked over to the building, making out a sign above the doors. 

 

“Cyclops Stee- oh. Oh no.” 

  
Looked like we’d have to rescue Leo, then. I  _ really  _ hoped the entire trip wouldn’t go this way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! times apollo has fallen off of festus: 3


	3. I hate Cyclopes/I really don't want to die/Calypso is the worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to update! if i've timed this chapter right, it'll give you a warm, fuzzy feeling right before the tyrant's tomb rips it out and replaces it with pure suffering :))))))

Calypso and I were hidden outside of Cyclops Steel, scouting the defenses. By which I mean I did not want to fight Cyclopes in my mortal state, and so was pretending to scout the defenses. 

 

“Okay, let’s go in,” Calypso said, destroying my brilliant plan to wait outside until Leo pulled out whatever ace was in his sleeve and the entire factory went up in flames, allowing us to escape unharmed. 

 

I hung back as Calypso moved towards the entrance, taking the dagger ( _ why  _ did she have that again?) out of her pocket. 

 

“I don’t suppose you have a plan?” 

 

Calypso turned back to glance at me. “Just come on!”

 

I sighed and ran off after her.

 

We made it to the entrance and slipped in, hiding behind some kind of robot arm. It was dark and claustrophobic inside, heat from the forges hitting me like a wave. It reminded me of Hephaestus’ workshop a bit, though this encounter had much less of a chance of getting me a cool new golden toy. 

 

“Got any helpful godly memories about these things?” Calypso hissed at me. 

 

_ Why are we making a plan  _ now,  _ instead of safe outside behind the car?  _ I complained to myself, but did not voice those thoughts aloud- Calypso was still holding her dagger. 

 

“Well, there’s good news and bad news,” I said instead. “These are, ah… lower-level Cyclopes. That means they’re weaker and don’t have any personal animosity towards me. Also, I don’t have to worry about repressed trauma, which is nice.”

 

“And the bad news?” Calypso asked.

 

“They have a lot less morality.”

 

“Meaning?”

 

“These Cyclopes are rather fond of murdering demigods.”

 

“Oh.”

 

I looked out from behind the robot arm. It was hard to make out anything at first, but my eyesight adjusted fairly quickly. Unlike other monster lairs, this building was huge- there seemed to be a staircase, going up through what had looked like seven or eight floors from outside. A forge flamed in a corner, but no Cyclopes were staffing it. That was just bad fire safety. 

 

Calypso was fiddling with something. I leaned over and looked over her shoulder. It was some kind of screen- as I watched, she whacked the side and made a red dot appear on it, blinking. 

 

“What are you doing?” I whispered. 

 

Calypso glared at me. “I’m activating Leo’s tracker. He gave it to me before he went in. Why, you thinking of doing something useful?” 

 

I’d forgotten about his tracker. “What am  _ I _ supposed to do? Run up those stairs and hope I find Leo before I get killed? I’m  _ mortal,  _ Calypso! And I’m certainly not fireproof like your boyfriend!”

 

Calypso huffed. “He’s not my- well, he is, but- ugh! Bad enough you let go of Festus like an idiot for _no reason_ and fell off so you couldn’t help us at all, but now you’re not even going to fix your mistake?” 

 

I was incredulous. How was the sorceress blaming  _ me  _ for their problems? Anyone who knows anything should be smart enough not to just walk into a cyclops hideout. For that matter, anyone who knew anything should be smart enough to also install seatbelts on their bronze dragons in preparation for having to someday fly through a lightning storm with a mildly traumatized god.

 

“It wasn’t for no reason! I suppose you’ve never been struck by lightning? Or are you going to blame me for that too, same as Father did? ‘It’s your fault Apollo, look what you’ve made me do Apollo,’?” 

 

“ _ You’re  _ trying to talk about being screwed over by Zeus? He- and you- left me on an island for four thousand years! At least you got the full privileges of being a god! My powers were lackluster for a Titan even before I left Ogygia! And I’ve even lost those, so stop complaining about being mortal like I don’t have the same problem!” Calypso stood up, giving away our hiding place (that is, if all our shouting hadn’t done it already.) “I’m going to go find Leo. Feel free to sit here and be useless.” She started to creep up the stairs, then gave up and ran, still clutching her long dagger, and vanished around a bend. 

 

I wasn’t sure what to do. My plan had been to have  _ Calypso  _ make the plan, but:

  1. She didn’t seem to have a clue what she was doing, and
  2. I was not about to _apologize_ to her for the sake of rescuing Leo.



 

I would have to figure this out on my own, I decided. I was a god! Well, former god. I could do this! 

 

Calypso had taken the tracker pad with her, so I’d gone up the stairs, pulling out my combat ukulele. I’d forgotten my bow back in the parking lot, so it would have to do. I poked my head in an open door, hoping to spot Leo. I did not, but- oh, joy- I did find a large amount of angry Cyclopes. 

 

I  _ hated  _ Cyclopes. Killing them was what had gotten me made mortal  _ last  _ time, and though I knew rationally they weren’t to blame for any of my problems, they were so convenient to project my anger onto. Also, they still deserved it. Case in point: The fact that they’d probably done something horrible to Leo, and were probably planning to do the same to me and Calypso.  

 

“Another one?” one of the Cyclopes grumbled. They looked to be the oldest and strongest of the bunch, with chainmail armor. “I suppose we should tie him up with the son of Hephaestus.” They motioned forward, and the Cyclopes got ready to charge, wielding mechanical equipment. (Despite Leo’s attempts to teach me something about machines, I could barely tell a screwdriver from a pile driver, never mind all the different kinds of wrenches. Socket wrench, ratchet wrench- honestly, how did he keep them all straight?)

 

I raised my hands, attempting to look nonthreatening. “Ladies. Gentlemen. Nonbinary Cyclopes.” 

 

The leader looked proud to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, they were not pleased enough to stop attacking. The Cyclopes charged. 

 

“There’s no need to fight!” I yelped and started fingerpicking a song on my combat ukulele.  _ Memory  _ from Undertale- usually enough to make any opponent kneel over and start crying. The leader Cyclops paused to wipe a tear, stalling the rest of them, and I ran.

 

I tried to open doors as I passed, searching for my friend. I was a bit worried about Calypso as well at this point. I probably should have run into her by now. I did not find either of them on this floor, however, just quite a lot of Cyclopes. I couldn’t play my ukulele and run, but I hummed the tune under my breath as I charged up the stairs. 

 

There was a painful stitch in my side, and I was heaving for breath. I considered stopping to rest- just for a moment. 

 

A twisted nail hit me in the head. I kept running. 

 

Trying to shove open another heavy metal door, I stumbled and fell, strength giving out. The leader Cyclops, freed of my song, ran forward and caught up with me easily, grabbing my arm and tilting my chin up. I glared at them and tried to scramble back to my feet, but they swung their wrench at my face and knocked me back down, sending a surge of pain through my body. 

 

“You’re Apollo, aren’t you? The emperor  _ will  _ be pleased.” 

 

I desperately hummed a bit more of Memory, but the Cyclops covered their ears. “No more of that, please! One time crying over Undertale was enough for me!” They grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back with a snap that I hoped wasn’t bone breaking. I whimpered. 

 

“The emperors need him alive,” one of the other Cyclopes warned. 

 

The leader made a face. “Alright, I’ll just knock him out and put him with the others.”

 

_ Others- Leo and Calypso?  _ I didn’t have much time to think on that, though- a wrench connected with my face for the second time in as many minutes, and I blacked out only to be engulfed by a vision.

 

I was getting  _ really  _ tired of these visions. It was like Zeus was taunting me with my godly memories, hanging them on a string just above me and only allowing me to grab small pieces. 

 

This one, though, wasn’t a memory. I found myself outside a train station in Indianapolis- a huge building with a large, circular stained glass window like an ornate clock. As I watched, a young girl clambered out a smaller window on the side, dragging a heavy pack, and following her, a glowing orange shape that I couldn’t make out properly. 

 

The girl checked the backpack. “All my books, art supplies, Oreos… okay.” 

 

The ghost-- well, I thought it was a ghost, but why would a seven year old be hanging out with a ghost?-- gave her a thumbs-up. She hoisted her backpack onto her shoulders and started running down the street until she reached a bus stop. 

 

She sat down on the bench next to it. Now that she had time to think, she seemed more moody than before. I looked closer and noticed her head was hanging and she had circles under her eyes, like someone had punched her, then pulled her back up to her feet and given her a cup of coffee. 

 

She didn’t speak to her companion, instead staring at the ground trying to avoid making eye contact. (This was pretty easy, as the ghost didn’t have eyes.) She interlaced her fingers in the bench and gripped the plastic tight enough to make her knuckles turn white. 

 

The ghost- his name was Agamenthus, I realized with a sinking feeling, though I couldn’t remember what I knew him from or why recognizing him gave me such a feeling of guilt. Perhaps he’d been a Eurovision contestant. No… that wasn’t quite right. Nor a mortal lover- he was most definitely  _ not my type-  _ the ghost placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, and she tried for a smile. 

 

“We’re gonna save them, Agamenthus,” she said quietly. “We’re gonna get rid of my stupid dreams, and we’re gonna save everyone.”

 

The bus arrived, and I watched helplessly as the girl sped away from me. The vision tried to pull me after her, but I resisted. A deep sense of foreboding was creeping up my spine. I did not want to know what would happen to the girl and her companion. 

 

I woke up with a feeling of dread. That could have been from my vision, or it could have been because I was tied up to a column in a dark room. 

 

I tried to get my bearings. I was wrapped up in metal chains. Calypso slumped in hers next to another column, and Leo Valdez was beside me. They both looked beat up, with bruises blossoming on their skin and blood trickling down from above Calypso’s eye. As for me, my arm was turning some very worrying colors. 

 

I had assumed they were both unconscious, but then Leo’s eyes cracked open, flitting from one corner of the room to the other like he was looking for surveillance systems. Apparently satisfied, he turned to me. 

 

“Apollo? You awake?” he whispered.

 

I bit my lip and nodded. “Though I wish I wasn’t.” 

 

Leo considered that. “Yeah, we’re pretty screwed. But I’ve got a plan! Stay still- I’ll cut your chains.” 

 

He pushed aside his own, which were a melted mess, and pulled some kind of pliers/scissors combination out of his toolbelt. (Don’t expect me to know the name of mechanical things. I’m not Hepheastus.) “What’s your plan?” I asked. 

 

“I haven’t decided yet, but it’s going to be good. And they don’t know either of us are unchained, so we have the advantage of surprise. Any bursts of godly strength coming?” 

 

“I can’t just summon my full power every time I’m mildly inconvenienced!” I complained. 

 

Leo raised an eyebrow and gestured to the room. “Mildly inconvenienced?”

 

“They said they weren’t supposed to kill me,” I explained. “So it’ll be fine.” 

 

“Well,  _ you  _ might be fine, but they made plenty of threats about Calypso and me!” Leo yelled, and I realized that despite his attempts to joke, he was seriously worried. I hadn’t thought about those two at all. Of course the emperors didn’t need them. (For that matter, why did they need  _ me?  _ The usual explanation that I was special and wonderful and of  _ course  _ they wanted me alive didn’t seem to work quite as well in this situation.)

 

“I’m sorry-” I started, trying to reach out a hand to him, but he pushed it away. 

 

“It’s fine. Let’s just get out of here.” He forced a grin. “I’ve got through situations  _ much  _ worse than this. And I’ve never died! Well, actually, I did die that one time-” 

Somehow, I did not find Leo’s words very reassuring. “Are Calypso’s chains broken too?”

 

Leo nodded. “She got here about five minutes before you did, and you’ve been out for... “ he frowned. “Not  _ that  _ long. Anyway, she’s still unconscious, but when she wakes up, we can figure out something.”

 

“Hang on.” I sung a few bars of Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. (Everyone knew that song had enough power to wake someone up from unconsciousness.) 

 

Calypso jolted upright, bringing her hands up in a sloppy boxer’s stance. “What’s going on?” 

 

I gave her and Leo a quick summary of events. (I may have exaggerated my  _ obviously in the right  _ stance in our argument, and also the length of my fight with the Cyclopes.) 

 

“Wait, you split up?” Leo asked.  “Don’t do that! It’s like, D&D rule number one. No splitting the party!”

 

“Well, sorry, but maybe if Calypso wasn’t being a  _ sikla,  _ we wouldn’t have!”

 

“I’m sorry,  _ what  _ did you call me?” 

 

“Guys, guys,” Leo interjected. “Let’s work out our drama later, okay? Right now, we need to deal with this. And no ancient languages!”

 

“You can’t speak Greek?” 

 

“I think my brain censored it for me.” Leo finished cutting through my chains and drew back, giving me a pleased smile. I twisted and felt them fall off, sighing in relief as pressure was lifted from my injured arm. 

 

“We should go, then,” I said. “I  _ think  _ I know the way out.” Leo and Calypso looked at me dubiously. I gave them the same smile I gave myself in the mirror-  _ you’re completely fine, and anyway you can’t have a mental breakdown right now because you’re about to die! _

 

It didn’t seem to fool them any more than it fooled myself, but they got to their feet, Calypso wincing a bit. 

 

“Right,” I stood up. “Do either of you have a plan yet?” 

 

“You don’t?” Leo asked, which was unfair. I was a god! It was the demigod’s job to come up with a plan, preferably one that involved me being in as little danger as possible. 

 

“No,” I told him, “I thought you were coming up with one.” 

 

“Oh, yeah. I was. Whatever! Let’s go, Sunny!”

 

He melted the lock on the door and kicked it open, motioning forward. With no better ideas of what to do, I followed him. 

 

We made it past three doors and down a set of stairs before we ran into trouble. We’d been trying to keep a low profile, but then Calypso knocked over a rack of tools by accident, alerting the Cyclopes to our presence. (She will tell you I was the one to do this. She is a liar.)  

 

She stood there frozen for a second, and I heard the distinct sound of Cyclops footsteps, coming closer. 

 

“Run,” I suggested. We took off down a dark hallway I was  _ pretty  _ sure led to another set of stairs, but on reaching the stairwell, we found it was guarded by two Cyclopes. As they spotted us, the other two that had been chasing us before entered into the stairwell. We were cornered. 

 

Leo summoned fire. (I remembered being able to do that. Sigh.) Calypso pulled out her dagger, and I, lacking a better weapon, brandished my combat ukulele. The Cyclopes moved in, and we inched closer to each other. 

 

One Cyclops’ eyes flicked from me to Leo to Calypso- and then he charged. 

 

I barely had time to react before he grabbed my injured arm, making me yelp in pain. 

 

“Hang on!” Calypso- Calypso?- shouted, and threw her dagger at the Cyclops. I ducked- a wise move. Calypso was most certainly  _ not  _ the god of good aim.

 

It sunk into the Cyclops’ chest, and he disintegrated into golden dust. 

 

I was a bit startled that Calypso had chosen to save me after our argument, but I didn’t have time to think about that right now. I turned to see if any of my friends needed help. Leo seemed to have just remembered Cyclopes were fireproof, and was rummaging in his toolbelt for anything he could use as a weapon, throwing random things at them to try and hold them off. I yelled “Over here!” to the Cyclops attacking him, and when they turned towards me, I whacked them with my combat ukulele.

 

“Thanks,” Leo huffed, “Now can you help Calypso?” 

 

I’d forgotten that since Calypso had thrown her dagger to help me, she was weaponless. A Cyclops menacingly swinging a loop of chain had her backed up against a wall- I tossed her the knife, and she promptly stabbed him, running out from her cornered position and getting dust in her hair, like macabre glitter.

 

The stairwell was unguarded now, and so we raced down it, tripping over stairs. 

 

“Think- the exit’s- this way,” I gasped out. 

We slid down a hallway, where Leo melted the lock on a door again, and found ourselves in sunlight out by the front of the building. 

 

I collapsed to my knees. “Thank the  _ gods  _ we’re out of there.” 

 

Leo called Festus over from where he’d been waiting anxiously near the back door, and they had a short conversation in Morse Code in which I tried to not feel left out. Eventually, he spread out his wings with a creak and Calypso and I clambered on. 

 

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” Leo said, and we took off. 

 

\----

 

We’d been flying for a while, giving me time to decide I should probably apologize to Calypso for our argument. I was trying to come up with an eloquent apology that both showcased the fact I was a courteous person and asserted that I was completely in the right.

 

“I’m sorry about-” I started, but Calypso interrupted. 

 

“No, you were right. I charged in and immediately got captured.” 

 

“Oh great! So we’ve agreed that I don’t have to apologize and I was right?” 

 

Calypso groaned. “You’re insufferable.” 

 

“Oh, come on.” I paused. “I  _ am _ sorry. For the Ogygia thing.” 

 

Calypso started. “You are?” 

 

“Not that it’s worse than being mortal, but it was… too long.” I tried to imagine being stuck on Delos for that long. I’d hid there during the war with Gaea to avoid Zeus and to stop from getting conflicted between my Roman and Greek forms, and even with my sister there I’d descended into a downward spiral of worry. I wasn’t sure if it would have been different if I hadn’t been confined to one island, but I did know it hadn’t helped. 

 

Leo twisted around. “Great, can you two be friends now? To be honest, I’m tired of you arguing.” 

 

“Fine,” Calypso said. 

 

“No splitting up again, at least,” I decided.

 

"Agreed." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm tired af so i just kind of..... ended it there you're welcome

**Author's Note:**

> Number of times Apollo has fallen off of Festus so far: 2


End file.
